Awakening

Sometimes, do you ever feel like there is just a ton more out there than you ever realized? Since work has been, well scarce, I've had a lot of time to think about things. Basically, it has only made me have more questions and a bunch of "Oh craps". Funny, when you are so intently working all the time, it can abruptly stop like in the game musical chairs. You find there is no place to sit when the music stops. Where do we go from here?

Take for instance life expectancy of the human being. Brad is around 9 years older than me. If all goes well, we should have 30 more years according to statistics. But if things don't go so good we may have only 20 years or even less. Now, when you are rolling along in day to day living, you feel like death is just a way far away thing. I'm not trying to be depressing, I promise. What I'm trying to get at here is that we have precious few days, months, years with our loved ones. We truly have to savor every single second, minute, hour. If we look at the lesser, that is only 20 more Christmas days, summers, winters. This has just inspired me to really "live". I want to see everything I can, love my husband with everything I've got in me, and do my best to unlock the secrets of the world. I just want to understand. Do we come back again? What is our purpose? May sound corny, but I'm looking forward to this great adventure.

In these crazy uncertain times, we really have to trust and have faith in God. Brad doesn't think God interferes with the things we do. He thinks that it is pretty much up to us and God gives us those choices to make for ourselves. I, on the other hand, have always considered God as my only source. I feel he directs my life, my world, my existence in every way. Yes, I make my own decisions, but he grows the good moves and corrects the bad ones. I see nothing happening in my life without His guiding hand. I'm not sure which is exactly right, I tend to feel I'm right. But, I am the woman.